Thursday, November 16, 2006
a mission brief made me vomit through my eyes
mydaysasawageslave.com
I was thinking about doing some work. I had a pile of briefs in my 'to do' list which were getting dangerously close to their deadlines.
Angry Martin had been sending me loads of porn, heavy metal and football related emails which had had an adverse effect on my work rate.
As a result of having to account for every minute of my day in billable work in order to get paid, I was an expert at filling my day with imaginary duties and chores.
For every job that came in, I figured I could do it in half the time, giving me the other half to spend my time subversively idling. I won't even get anything constructive done in this time. That would be too 'protestant work ethic' for me. No I would be happy in the knowledge that I was doing nothing constructive for this time, thus denying my boss the full worth of his pound of flesh.
So in an effort to find something I could pad out the day with I picked up a brief at the top of the pile. I'd been avoiding it for 2 days now and figured it wasn't going to go away. Unfortunately I was signing my own death warrant.
The introduction went "Our product provides women who put personal relationships as a top priority, with a moment to take a step back and focus on what really matter. The coffee lover's coffee!'
Fuck! I snorted out loud. That was a serious pile of shit. How the hell can I take that seriously? It was saying 'Yes, we marketeers care a lot! and we really mean that!'
A mission brief made me vomit through my eyes
Now I lie every day for a living but that took the biscuit. It went on over 4 pages of ever worsening rubbish.
I lost heat by page 2 and noticed a new mail had come in from Angry Martin. Maybe I could start this job tomorrow?
I'm sure I could bluff my way through some bullshit an hour before deadline. You know a woman, aspiring young professional, late 20's / early 30's, stylish apartment, with her friends. Oh and drinking coffee of course!
Anyway, it says here in the subject of Angry Martin's email that someone can vomit through their eyes. I have to see that.
I was thinking about doing some work. I had a pile of briefs in my 'to do' list which were getting dangerously close to their deadlines.
Angry Martin had been sending me loads of porn, heavy metal and football related emails which had had an adverse effect on my work rate.
As a result of having to account for every minute of my day in billable work in order to get paid, I was an expert at filling my day with imaginary duties and chores.
For every job that came in, I figured I could do it in half the time, giving me the other half to spend my time subversively idling. I won't even get anything constructive done in this time. That would be too 'protestant work ethic' for me. No I would be happy in the knowledge that I was doing nothing constructive for this time, thus denying my boss the full worth of his pound of flesh.
So in an effort to find something I could pad out the day with I picked up a brief at the top of the pile. I'd been avoiding it for 2 days now and figured it wasn't going to go away. Unfortunately I was signing my own death warrant.
The introduction went "Our product provides women who put personal relationships as a top priority, with a moment to take a step back and focus on what really matter. The coffee lover's coffee!'
Fuck! I snorted out loud. That was a serious pile of shit. How the hell can I take that seriously? It was saying 'Yes, we marketeers care a lot! and we really mean that!'
A mission brief made me vomit through my eyes
Now I lie every day for a living but that took the biscuit. It went on over 4 pages of ever worsening rubbish.
I lost heat by page 2 and noticed a new mail had come in from Angry Martin. Maybe I could start this job tomorrow?
I'm sure I could bluff my way through some bullshit an hour before deadline. You know a woman, aspiring young professional, late 20's / early 30's, stylish apartment, with her friends. Oh and drinking coffee of course!
Anyway, it says here in the subject of Angry Martin's email that someone can vomit through their eyes. I have to see that.
