Monday, January 30, 2006
Back in 'Nam... I think I made a mistake coming here Grandma.
mydaysasawageslave.com
I was just asked to sign a card for someone I don't think I've ever heard off and I know I've certainly never met (whilst sober anyway).
When I enquired as to why I should sign it and who was the girl, I was told she did work here and it was her birthday.
Due to the high turnover / bodycount here our boss Number 1 has decided we should all have higher morale. Birthday cards are part of the new regime but apparently only for the sales and accounts people.
The so called creatives / designers can all fuck off it seems, seeing as how we are always bitching anyway.
Then as I was chatting about this to one of the sales guys, he told me he was leaving next week but was told by Number 1 not to tell anyone until he told us at our weekly meeting on Friday.
And so things just rumble along here in a semi chaotic manner.
It's like that great scene from Apocalypse Now when Martin Sheen is going up river and comes across the base where everyone is shooting wildly, running around doing crazy drugs and loosing the head.
No one knows what's going on and they just want to stay alive.
He can't find anyone who seems to be in charge until finally he finds some murderous lunatic who knows who's in control but doesn't really care if anyone else does. Chilling. On so many levels.
I'm noticing that all my analogies for this wageslavery they call work seem to be Vietnam movies. What's that about?
Although I heard on the radio this morning that a guy was holding up traffic walking down the M50 in a shirt and tie with a rifle and a briefcase ala 'Falling Down'. How excellent.
Then just as I thought things couldn't get worse i received news that Harvey Nichol's are flogging a children's book called "This Little Piggy went to Prada".
Really. Check out their website at http://www.harveynichols.com/files/images/FOOD_NEWS_Piggy1.jpg if you don't beleive me.
Described as... "a humorous, gloriously shallow little tome of nursery rhymes designed for the Blahnik and Birkin brigade - yummy mummies (and daddies perhaps) with a penchant for the better things in life (with the right label attached of course)."
Thing is, I know people who will buy this book. Seriously.
They ARE taking over the world.
Maybe that guy on the M50 had the right idea.
I was just asked to sign a card for someone I don't think I've ever heard off and I know I've certainly never met (whilst sober anyway).
When I enquired as to why I should sign it and who was the girl, I was told she did work here and it was her birthday.
Due to the high turnover / bodycount here our boss Number 1 has decided we should all have higher morale. Birthday cards are part of the new regime but apparently only for the sales and accounts people.
The so called creatives / designers can all fuck off it seems, seeing as how we are always bitching anyway.
Then as I was chatting about this to one of the sales guys, he told me he was leaving next week but was told by Number 1 not to tell anyone until he told us at our weekly meeting on Friday.
And so things just rumble along here in a semi chaotic manner.
It's like that great scene from Apocalypse Now when Martin Sheen is going up river and comes across the base where everyone is shooting wildly, running around doing crazy drugs and loosing the head.
No one knows what's going on and they just want to stay alive.
He can't find anyone who seems to be in charge until finally he finds some murderous lunatic who knows who's in control but doesn't really care if anyone else does. Chilling. On so many levels.
I'm noticing that all my analogies for this wageslavery they call work seem to be Vietnam movies. What's that about?
Although I heard on the radio this morning that a guy was holding up traffic walking down the M50 in a shirt and tie with a rifle and a briefcase ala 'Falling Down'. How excellent.
Then just as I thought things couldn't get worse i received news that Harvey Nichol's are flogging a children's book called "This Little Piggy went to Prada".
Really. Check out their website at http://www.harveynichols.com/files/images/FOOD_NEWS_Piggy1.jpg if you don't beleive me.
Described as... "a humorous, gloriously shallow little tome of nursery rhymes designed for the Blahnik and Birkin brigade - yummy mummies (and daddies perhaps) with a penchant for the better things in life (with the right label attached of course)."
Thing is, I know people who will buy this book. Seriously.
They ARE taking over the world.
Maybe that guy on the M50 had the right idea.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
they are taking over the world; part 102
mydaysasawageslave.com
taken from an American 'news' site today...
"Tilley joined the Army because of her desire to work with animals. “I joined for the job, I’ve always loved animals and this just seemed like the right place for me to be,” she explained.
In her off-duty time, Tilley spends much of her time working with her church, Orange Park Assembly of God, as a youth leader. “I typically put in about 12-15 hours at my church each week; I also enjoy writing and acting,” she said."
Another morning of web based 'research' led me to this little beauty.
It would be funny if it weren't so scary.
How does someone who wants to work with animals jump to the conclusion that the army is the best way to go about it.
And what else would this caring, young killing machine do in her spare time but hang around a church. For 15 hours a week.
I wish I could do something as pointless as that for 15 hours a week. Like drinking. Or masturbation maybe. Be about as much use.
You know if I was a mad muslim insurgent being tortured or shot at by 'Tilley', I'm sure I'd take comfort in the fact that she loves animals and our good Lord J.C.
God loves America. Or so they tell us.
God help us all.
taken from an American 'news' site today...
"Tilley joined the Army because of her desire to work with animals. “I joined for the job, I’ve always loved animals and this just seemed like the right place for me to be,” she explained.
In her off-duty time, Tilley spends much of her time working with her church, Orange Park Assembly of God, as a youth leader. “I typically put in about 12-15 hours at my church each week; I also enjoy writing and acting,” she said."
Another morning of web based 'research' led me to this little beauty.
It would be funny if it weren't so scary.
How does someone who wants to work with animals jump to the conclusion that the army is the best way to go about it.
And what else would this caring, young killing machine do in her spare time but hang around a church. For 15 hours a week.
I wish I could do something as pointless as that for 15 hours a week. Like drinking. Or masturbation maybe. Be about as much use.
You know if I was a mad muslim insurgent being tortured or shot at by 'Tilley', I'm sure I'd take comfort in the fact that she loves animals and our good Lord J.C.
God loves America. Or so they tell us.
God help us all.
they are taking over the world; part 102
mydaysasawageslave.com
taken from an American 'news' site today...
"Tilley joined the Army because of her desire to work with animals. “I joined for the job, I’ve always loved animals and this just seemed like the right place for me to be,” she explained.
In her off-duty time, Tilley spends much of her time working with her church, Orange Park Assembly of God, as a youth leader. “I typically put in about 12-15 hours at my church each week; I also enjoy writing and acting,” she said."
Another morning of web based 'research' led me to this little beauty.
It would be funny if it weren't so scary.
How does someone who wants to work with animals jump to the conclusion that the army is the best way to go about it.
And what else would this caring, young killing machine do in her spare time but hang around a church. For 15 hours a week.
I wish I could do something as pointless as that for 15 hours a week. Like drinking. Or masturbation maybe. Be about as much use.
You know if I was a mad muslim insurgent being tortured or shot at by 'Tilley', I'm sure I'd take comfort in the fact that she loves animals and our good Lord J.C.
God loves America. Or so they tell us.
God help us all.
taken from an American 'news' site today...
"Tilley joined the Army because of her desire to work with animals. “I joined for the job, I’ve always loved animals and this just seemed like the right place for me to be,” she explained.
In her off-duty time, Tilley spends much of her time working with her church, Orange Park Assembly of God, as a youth leader. “I typically put in about 12-15 hours at my church each week; I also enjoy writing and acting,” she said."
Another morning of web based 'research' led me to this little beauty.
It would be funny if it weren't so scary.
How does someone who wants to work with animals jump to the conclusion that the army is the best way to go about it.
And what else would this caring, young killing machine do in her spare time but hang around a church. For 15 hours a week.
I wish I could do something as pointless as that for 15 hours a week. Like drinking. Or masturbation maybe. Be about as much use.
You know if I was a mad muslim insurgent being tortured or shot at by 'Tilley', I'm sure I'd take comfort in the fact that she loves animals and our good Lord J.C.
God loves America. Or so they tell us.
God help us all.
Monday, January 23, 2006
they are taking over the world; part 101
mydaysasawageslave.com
A New Low...
I was trawling the web looking for cheap thrills and/or inspiration lately when I came across this ad in the process of my 'research'.
He is being offered for hire by a promotional company. This is surely a new nadir in wanky nu-marketing speak "Sales Entertainer"!!!!!
What could possibly be entertaining about this scenario. 'Martin', if that is his real name and not just his hooker name, looks like your average middle aged, old school, sales man. Have these people never heard of David Brent or 'The Office'?
In my opinion, 'Martin' is not a 'Professional Sales Entertainer'.
Sitting through his routine looks more like torture than entertainment to me.
Like something you'd have to do for work.
This man MUST be hunted down NOW! Lets chip in and hire him to do his pitch in an underground garage somewhere away from other people.
'Martin' is a sales man for hire.
Bruce Forsyth is an entertainer.
In the words of one of those new age, self help, business guru types that my boss pays a fortune to come over and patronise his staff...
"You're a 6 letter word, beginning with 'W' and ending in 'R"
... and it's not 'winner'.
I feel a rant coming on.
A New Low...
I was trawling the web looking for cheap thrills and/or inspiration lately when I came across this ad in the process of my 'research'.
He is being offered for hire by a promotional company. This is surely a new nadir in wanky nu-marketing speak "Sales Entertainer"!!!!!
What could possibly be entertaining about this scenario. 'Martin', if that is his real name and not just his hooker name, looks like your average middle aged, old school, sales man. Have these people never heard of David Brent or 'The Office'?
In my opinion, 'Martin' is not a 'Professional Sales Entertainer'.
Sitting through his routine looks more like torture than entertainment to me.
Like something you'd have to do for work.
This man MUST be hunted down NOW! Lets chip in and hire him to do his pitch in an underground garage somewhere away from other people.
'Martin' is a sales man for hire.
Bruce Forsyth is an entertainer.
In the words of one of those new age, self help, business guru types that my boss pays a fortune to come over and patronise his staff...
"You're a 6 letter word, beginning with 'W' and ending in 'R"
... and it's not 'winner'.
I feel a rant coming on.
