Thursday, August 10, 2006
Hell is a cubicle farm with hidden cameras and self help marketing manuals
mydaysasawageslave.com
The large red face looming in front of me belonged to my boss.
His mouth was moving up and down. Very. Pronounced. And. Very. Dramatically.
What with the spittle flying out of his mouth and him turning beetroot, I imagined he was probably quite angry.
Up until then I had been totally tuned out, headphones on, in a world of my own. My head was full of the New York Dolls so I'd missed the build up to this latest blow out.
So I turned the volume down on Rock and Roll and turned the volume up on reality.
"...don't know how many times I've had to tell you people.
The air conditioning is set at just the right temperature. No one is to mess with it.
If people start messing with things... well... it, it'll all just go to hell!"
"Too late. We're already there, I thought."
No. 1 (my boss) was on a role now. "Who's messing with the temperature? I know someone's been messing with this." He turned to glare at wageslave 44, or Ned as his fellow wageslaves called him. "Right! I can't trust you any more. You've no idea... no one is to mess with the air conditioning any more. Do you understand?"
Ned nodded meekly. Compliant in his own fear.
No. 1 stormed out of the office. Hitting the door with his fully formed middle aged spread at full force. Five seconds later, the door erupts open again as he storms back into the room, noisily stomping over to his glass office, which sits like a watchtower at the top of our open plan cubicle farm, to collect something or other. And then he was off again, pausing only to stare psychotically at the back of Ned's head.
"Fuck! what was that about?" I asked.
"Jesus, do you think he has cameras in here?" Ned whispered. "I mean, why else do you think he was picking on me? It could have been any of us."
He was right. There was a heat wave outside this last month. Hottest July in 20 odd years. But it's been freezing in here. So bad that people have taken to wearing jackets inside and taking them off when they go outside. A couple of people have gone down with colds and they spread like wildfire in these cubicle farms, so we're all worried.
But no one dares turn off the air conditioning blowing in the incessant stream of freezing cold air. Personally, I was looking forward to winter. He'd probably turn it down by then.
I approached him about it once. In the early days of the heat wave. Inspired by seeing one of the other wageslaves reduced to taking out a jumper and jacket from his bag when he came in that morning.
He was having none of it though and told me that he couldn't please everyone.
I told him that I HAD talked to everyone and they were all freezing cold but were too afraid to say it to him.
He laughed and told me to leave it with him.
I did and he, in turn, just left it at that.
Maybe David Icke was right and he was one of THEM. A lizard.
Which led me to the conclusion that Ned was probably right.
"He has a load of cameras outside doesn't he?" said wageslave 39. "And he has one on the stairs, so..." she tailed off, looking around suspiciously. "Na, I'm just being paranoid.
...aren't I?"
The large red face looming in front of me belonged to my boss.
His mouth was moving up and down. Very. Pronounced. And. Very. Dramatically.
What with the spittle flying out of his mouth and him turning beetroot, I imagined he was probably quite angry.
Up until then I had been totally tuned out, headphones on, in a world of my own. My head was full of the New York Dolls so I'd missed the build up to this latest blow out.
So I turned the volume down on Rock and Roll and turned the volume up on reality.
"...don't know how many times I've had to tell you people.
The air conditioning is set at just the right temperature. No one is to mess with it.
If people start messing with things... well... it, it'll all just go to hell!"
"Too late. We're already there, I thought."
No. 1 (my boss) was on a role now. "Who's messing with the temperature? I know someone's been messing with this." He turned to glare at wageslave 44, or Ned as his fellow wageslaves called him. "Right! I can't trust you any more. You've no idea... no one is to mess with the air conditioning any more. Do you understand?"
Ned nodded meekly. Compliant in his own fear.
No. 1 stormed out of the office. Hitting the door with his fully formed middle aged spread at full force. Five seconds later, the door erupts open again as he storms back into the room, noisily stomping over to his glass office, which sits like a watchtower at the top of our open plan cubicle farm, to collect something or other. And then he was off again, pausing only to stare psychotically at the back of Ned's head.
"Fuck! what was that about?" I asked.
"Jesus, do you think he has cameras in here?" Ned whispered. "I mean, why else do you think he was picking on me? It could have been any of us."
He was right. There was a heat wave outside this last month. Hottest July in 20 odd years. But it's been freezing in here. So bad that people have taken to wearing jackets inside and taking them off when they go outside. A couple of people have gone down with colds and they spread like wildfire in these cubicle farms, so we're all worried.
But no one dares turn off the air conditioning blowing in the incessant stream of freezing cold air. Personally, I was looking forward to winter. He'd probably turn it down by then.
I approached him about it once. In the early days of the heat wave. Inspired by seeing one of the other wageslaves reduced to taking out a jumper and jacket from his bag when he came in that morning.
He was having none of it though and told me that he couldn't please everyone.
I told him that I HAD talked to everyone and they were all freezing cold but were too afraid to say it to him.
He laughed and told me to leave it with him.
I did and he, in turn, just left it at that.
Maybe David Icke was right and he was one of THEM. A lizard.
Which led me to the conclusion that Ned was probably right.
"He has a load of cameras outside doesn't he?" said wageslave 39. "And he has one on the stairs, so..." she tailed off, looking around suspiciously. "Na, I'm just being paranoid.
...aren't I?"
# posted by mydaysasawageslave @ 8:09 AM 
